nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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