wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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