I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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