you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
