he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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