why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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