too bad you live with your parents still
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
