And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
