I accidentally had phone sex last night
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize