You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
