I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
