girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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