He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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