I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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