I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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