I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
