I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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