Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
