grandma shit on top of the toilet
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I want to be your penis for a week.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize