he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
