she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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