Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
