just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
