so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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