I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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