I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
too bad you live with your parents still
and you said cock pushups were impossible
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Randomize