wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
