you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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