Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize