I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
