If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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