Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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