Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
