and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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