you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
