i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
