A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
