Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
