quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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