i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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