There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
