Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
