I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
