If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
