I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize