the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
