So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Randomize
