is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
