He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
