You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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