I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
