i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
