I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
