At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
