i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
