Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
