I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
