whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
