Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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