I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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