if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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