he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
